4 Clever Ways to Get Offended Less and Get Respect More

Which is my philosophy? | Difference between insult and offense

Not everything that offends us is an insult and not every insult has to offend us. 

Have you ever seen a small child bump his head and look to you for a reaction before seemingly making the decision to burst into tears? That’s us. The dynamics of getting offended doesn’t change much from the time we’re toddlers. You could say the process just gets streamlined.

Believe it or not, science says that feeling offended is a choice. It’s more interesting than just a blow to our honor. We must interpret an event before we are offended by it. 

GOOD NEWS:

We have control over this process. It is possible to plan ahead right now and decide what will and won’t offend you.

BAD NEWS:

The trouble is that unlike a toddler, we decide to be offended in milliseconds. It is a very very fast choice we generally leave to the subconscious, especially as we get older. Doing this automatically can be a problem for obvious reasons.

The Most Normal And Most Destructive Miscommunication in Relationships

Positivity is a choice, and the first step to making that choice is wanting to change. Tweaking your definition of insult and offense can act as a springboard for the rest of your personal development plan. The difference between being ‘offended’ and being ‘insulted’ is this:

If I insult you, I am doing something.

If I offend you, you are doing something.

This mix up is probably one of the most normal and most destructive miscommunications in English, but if you want to get more respect and improve your relationships, we recommend you start by addressing this seemingly tiny confusion. It is actually a massive massive trap.

You can’t do anything about somebody insulting you, but you have control over whether you will take offense.

What to do

We “take” offense. A paper by Sagu University says a good way to visualize offense is as something we can choose to leave or take. 

1. Clip Your Heuristics

In psychology, the choice to feel offended could be called a product of heuristics. Heuristics are like mental shortcuts we use to organize our thoughts quickly. The link above goes to a whole TED Talk that will make you question whether free will does exist.

Your mighty mind can use biofeedback to overpower even the most entrenched heuristics. The rest of these tactics are actual practices to help you accomplish this strategy.

2. Plan Ahead

The only way to do this is to plan ahead. To avoid getting offended in the future by something you know is a waste of your time and energy, you can plan right now and decide what kinds of things you are okay getting offended by and which you’d like to change.

3. Look For Common Ground. Be Empathetic

Egos and miscommunications have been causing tragedies since the dawn of mankind. Pretty much every religion ever has tackled this problem with rules that help believers speak the same language. 

Isabella Poggi says that when we think the person offending us has the same beliefs as us, we are less offended. 

4. Be Humble

Arrogance and offendedness go hand-in-hand. The way I got interested in offendedness was at a speaking event by Mickey Singer, where he made a point that stuck with me. I still use this trick to this day. 

No matter how terrible you feel, your offendedness will pale when you frame it within the vast spans of the universe. 

Conclusion | Positivity is a Choice

Ask your friends about their pet peeves. Have them ask you about yours. Do these ever keep you from living the life you want? 

Knowledge is power. We hope you will use this stuff wisely in order to captain your life in the direction you actually want.

Zander (1976) defined the feeling of offense by describing three chronological phases. These phases describe how a person expresses feeling offended in the real world. A person has already chosen to take offense when s/he begins to go through these phases: 

  1. The offended person identifies the cause of the offense and works to develop some sort of interpretation.
  2. The offended person attempts to determine the intensity of the feeling of the offense which is based on one’s belief of self and whether the offender holds those same beliefs.
  3. The offended person has some sort of reaction to the offense that is based on a number of factors. 

5 Easy TikTok Life Hacks for Content Creators in School

Is it so wrong to think you can use lifehacks in school to take world-class photos using just your cellphone from the “comfort” of your desk?

Is TikTok a Good Place to Scout Lifehacks?

Tiktok is the latest expression of the spirit of the internet, aka the Gen Z spirit. It is probably the most polarizing platform you know. TikTok often gets pegged as a posterboy for social media vapidity.

Critics do have a point. The whole point of TikTok isn’t to connect with friends, but to strike fame. Unapologetic fame-seeking is actually one of the characteristics of Gen Z.

TikTok has risen to infamy on the back of thousands of trends that could be described as vapid or even straight-up stupid.

“the whole point of TikTok isn’t to connect with friends, but to strike fame

There are two main points I’d like to make in TikTok’s defense:

  1. Play isn’t a bad thing as long as nobody is getting hurt
  2. There is amazing educational content on there

The platform’s management team seems acutely aware of its reputation. It has recently launched a massive initiative intended to pivot how it is seen. For the entire month of August, TikTok will be boosting the visibility of videos with the hashtag #learnonTikTok

These lifehacks are sourced from photography channels and TikTok creators. They mostly consist of crafty filters and clever angles.

Lifehack #1: The Frozen Filter

This was the favorite photo hack of YouTubers Alex and Alan Stokes. My personal opinion is that it looks really cool (pun unavoidable).

  1. Find a table with a glass top
  2. Get a bag of ice
  3. Model goes under the table
  4. Ice goes on top of the table
  5. Arrange the ice to surround your model’s face
  6. Sport a blue filter when you shoot
  7. Go nuts

This effect comes out looking borderline cinematic. The trick gets you special effects pictures that will do well on social media and have your followers wondering if they need to call 911. Little do they know …

Lifehack #2: The Contortionist

This trick is an optical illusion based on angles. Unlike lifehack number one, there are no props involved … Unless you count your friend’s legs as a prop. In a nutshell, you lie on your belly looking at the camera while your buddy lies on his back on top of you.

  1. Find a friend with legs that look like they could be yours
  2. Lie on the floor on your belly
  3. Ask your friend to lie on top of you with his head facing your feet
  4. S/he should be face up
  5. Place your camera about 2 feet away from you, also on the ground
  6. Make a constipated face for the full effect

This optical illusion is a simple, fun way to get a unique picture and uhm … bond with your friend.

Lifehack #3: The Instant Uyuni

The Instant Uyuni is named after the famous Uyuni salt desert in Bolivia. That link goes to an awesome music video by FKJ that was filmed there. This natural wonder of the world is literally a 500-mile mirror. People flock there from all over the world to take pictures just like this one.

Being the smart life-hacking individual you are, you can use this life hack to save the money your dear, sweet grandma would spend buying plane tickets to Bolivia.

  1. Get a second phone
  2. Place it directly under your camera with the long side facing your model
  3. Lock the screen
  4. Angle the two phones
  5. Tell your friends about the magnificent salt desert you visited in Bolivia

Life Hack #4: The Phantom

Did somebody call Bloody Mary three times in the dark? This creepy effect can be produced using the panoramic tool on your phone. It might involve a little finessing, but you will be impressed with the results. This is also one of my favorites.

  1. Get a friend
  2. Set your phone on panoramic mode
  3. Model should be facing you with her back to the mirror
  4. Pause while scanning horizontally AFTER the camera captures your model, but BEFORE it captures your model’s reflection
  5. The model should turn to face the mirror
  6. Finish the panoramic by scanning your model’s altered reflection
  7. Call a priest

Life Hack #5: The CD Flare

If you or your family has any CDs lying around, this is one way to put that wonderful shininess of theirs to good use. Solar flares are for beginners.

  1. Grab a flashlight and a CD
  2. Place them both near the camera
  3. Leave a tiny piece of the CD in the corner of the frame
  4. Adjust the angles so the flashlight is hitting the reflective surface of the CD
  5. Snap away

This one might take a few tries to get the angles just right, but it gives a striking effect that will be liked by all your friends and stalkers.

Conclusion

These photographic life hacks can be done at school or at home. They are beautiful and fun. Maybe you can even build a following by using these tips. How many likes did you get by using this article?

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Wim Hof and the Rise of Real Life Superpowers

This is going to be a quick post about personal development and life hacking.

👍

Related people and ideas:

  • Wolf Endurance: Human beings have developed to be able to run without stopping for thousands, yes thousands, of miles. (super stamina)
  • Spider Senses: Some of us can sense things in a useful way that normal people are incapable of. (synesthesia)
  • Eel Immunity: The Wim Hof method is a way for you to gain real life superpowers. Using breathing techniques and the power of the mind, Wim was able to climb Mt. Everest in shirtless and in shorts. (cold tolerance)

Superpowers don’t actually exist … do they?

After seeing Donald Trump become president of the country and seeing Elon Musk name his child X Æ A-12, it is difficult to make the case for what is and isn’t possible. 

Do you know how your unconscious works? This is the powerful mechanism for unlocking every one of the three real-life superpowers in this article.

Sadly, most people have no idea how their subconscious works or how to make friends with it.

The subconscious is always in your thoughts, whether you like it or not.

John Harold

Your unconscious mind is basically like an app for your brain that extracts and packages enormous chunks of memory, feelings, and intuition instantly. It warms them up. Then, much like Toaster Streudel™, it pops out a fresh, hot answer to life’s questions.

These questions can be as mundane as “how much milk should I drink with this pastry?” or as complex as “should I ask her to marry me?”

One example of a guy with a great relationship with his subconscious

Joshua Waitzkin is a master unconscious (-er?).

He was 16 years old when he received the title of International Chess Master. He is also a Tai Chi world champion and the inspiration for the book “Chasing Bobby Fischer.” More than anything else though, Josh is a bold bold lifehacker. 

Take, for example, his claim that he translates the essence of chess into the language of Tai Chi.

The most exciting thing about former chess prodigies like Josh is the thought that their superpowers could somehow be obtainable. Science can explain genius. One way it arises is through a condition called synesthesia.

What is synesthesia?

This is when your senses get jumbled together and you “smell” a color or “taste” a sound. It happens with brains that have above average neural connections. 

This dramatic trait that is more common than you might imagine. Billie Eilish has it.

Stevie Wonder could SEE his music, despite being blind

Waitzkin and Stevie Wonder might seem like geniuses of unattainable magnitude to us, but their genius is actually explainable by modern science and replicable by normies like you and me.

Waitzkin says he doesn’t even like the word prodigy! He claims we can all harness incredible superpowers if we just learn to learn. 

The internet has proven Waitzkin right. It might sound like science fiction, but normal human beings can run marathons in the Arctic like Wim Hof and hone their ability to see music like Stevie Wonder.

Don’t question it too much. For all intents and purposes, these are examples of real-life superpowers.

Conclusion: 3 real life human superpowers

In conclusion, you and everybody around you has access to superpowers if

In the 2020s, planning a trip to Mars is less naive than believing humans are never getting there. The superpowers in this article have been used and practiced by human beings for thousands of years. It is only our own Western culture that is getting to know them for the first time thanks to the interference of the internet. 

The internet has created obsessive self-improvers like myself, and it has enabled us to hunt down the blueprints to eye-popping things like memory palaces and synesthesia.

‘Memory palaces’ are also worth a quick Google search, by the way.

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This is not a paid post. Good.co Can Get You a Future Proof Job

Find the Most Satisfying Future Proof Jobs With Good.co

College grads across the world are on edge about the future they face. I’ve even heard rumors of AI lawyers terminating the profession of attorney.

If you are looking for the most future proof jobs out there, a good place to start might be “human resources companies” like Good.co. This platform is a hub of relevant information and networking capability for job seekers.

platforms are like factories for services.

Kevin Kelly, author of The Inevitable

Ford’s assembly line changed the world in the early 20th century. This revolution produced millions of jobs. Today, we live in a world populated with both different sorts of factories and different kinds of jobs.

To figure out where you fit into this brave new world of ours, asking yourself what your priorities are should be the first thing you do. According to Good.co, a platform that makes job-seeking funner and more visual, these priorities usually come in three flavors.

  • Compensation
  • Career
  • Culture

What makes Good.co better than Linkedin or whatever?

Being happy at work is all about matching your psychology to a routine that fulfills your emotional needs. Different company cultures express this in different ways.

This toughest of all business responsibilities is the domain of the human resources department. Human resources is all about psychology!

High-quality applied psychology

It is the quality of the psychology in their value proposition that makes Good.co such an interesting platform to play with.

High-quality psychology makes Good.co an interesting platform to play with.

Verse Lozano

Good.co’s UX actually feels like playing a game because it is so clean, dynamic, and colorful. As a fan of good design as well as practical psychology, this website stands out from other professional development companies to me.

This awesome career connections company produces archetypes that describe both individuals and companies as well as fun quizzes that let you find where you fit best.

Their miraculous blog

This website offers EXTENSIVE resources for job seekers. It doesn’t stop at just direct job profiles and applications. Their blog, created by (profession professionals?) has an insightful tip for everyone—data analyst to graphic designer.

They seem to have close ties with a website that specializes in startups called Angel List. This startup forum, whether owned by them or simply associated, provides a great email newsletter for anybody seeking startups to apply to.

Angel List and the Good.co blog have extensive blog entries with useful content such as 30 questions to ask before joining a startup

A Few of Their Coolest Blog Posts

Is Google Still Competitive With Microsoft, Yahoo And Facebook In The War For Talent?

Google has built a reputation as a supportive and innovative pioneer, but the New York Times wrote an article about how they could be overtaken in public perception by potential talent by companies such as Amazon and Facebook.

This article describes pre-2014 Google’s company culture as “Commando” style and new Google as “Collaborative Intergalactic Explorer” style.

 Link to article

Take These 7 Career and Lifestyle Risks in Your 20s and 30s

The gist of this article is that you are only 25 once. This is the best possible time for most people to move for work and learn new skills. It’s honestly kind of a fluffy article, but inspiring and more informative than you might think just because Good.co has a great writing team

Link to article

6 Reasons Why You Should Discover Your Personality Type

This article is made a lot stronger by the fact that Good.co hires psychologists to devise practical employee and company archetypes. This isn’t the point of this article however. The point of this article are actually more traditional personality tests such as the Meyers Briggs. Learning about your personality and striving for personal development can take you deep into the all-important search for meaning and motivation that matters much much more than money

Link to article

Conclusion

Does the flurry of technology thrown in your face every day feel like an assault on society? If it does, you are not alone. In a way, that is exactly what it is.

Imagine you lived in 1903. You are looking for the most future proof jobs during the second industrial revolution, and you are having little luck. All of the rules are being rewritten by Mr. Henry Ford and his conveyor belt.

The setting for your “future proof” career would have probably been a dense factory. The set of qualities demanded of you might have been mechanical pragmatism, assembly line speed, and a close tie to the community. Today’s future proof jobs require a different employee. Kevin Kelly, the founder of Techcrunch magazine and author of The Inevitable, Understanding the 12 Technological Forces that will Shape our Future, has a theory about how these new jobs might look.

He says that the nature of our industrial revolution can be found in cheap, ubiquitous copying.

In the spirit of cheap and ubiquitous copies, why don’t you hit that share button and show your friends and family how we do things in the 21st century.

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Dwight from The Office is a Philosopher IRL

“Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth … Love is as love does. Love is an act of will. Love is a choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” – from The Bassoon King by Rainn Wilson

Dwight Schrute’s real name is Rainn Wilson. I found out about Schrute’s brainy alter ego after stumbling upon Rainn’s talk at Google.

Rainn calls himself a “multi-nerd” — that’s the genre of nerd who participates in computer club as well as model U.N. and band. He is a believer in ghosts, God, and having fun.

Hearing the talk, I got the impression that Rainn’s parents were almost certainly West Coast hippies. Then I read his book, The Bassoon King …

Who is Rainn Wilson?

Rainn is the son of two OG West Coast hippies who came within one parallel universe of naming him Lord Byron Wilson. So … yeah.

He made his film debut in Galaxy Quest (1999). In 2005, he was cast as Dwight Schrute in The Office, a role he played (sublimely) until the series finale in 2013.

His friend and real-life Jim, Will Eno, calls his first book, Soul Pancake, a very gentle game of truth-or-dare.

Soul Pancake came out in 2010 as a kind of companion to Rainn’s internet brand. The accompanying YouTube channel has more than 1 million subscribers and seeks to make philosophy and spirituality less … well, boring.

An Eccentric Fellow

Like Dwight, Rainn is an eccentric fellow with a love for the outdoors. Rainn had a wild childhood. He lived in Nicaragua from the ages of 1-5. During this time, he had a pet sloth and got a traumatizing case of tapeworm.

Today, he and his wife own three pitbulls, two potbelly pigs, and a zonkey named Derek.

“My most vivid memory of Nicaragua involved worms coming out of my butthole”

The Bassoon King

Rainn’s earliest years were spent speaking Spanish in a Nicaraguan port town called Bluefields. Yep. His eccentric characters are based on his real life eccentricity.

The music at Bluefields was a Caribbean mash up. Rainn writes about “reggae and dancehall from Jamaica; Calypso and soca from Trinidad; son and salsa from Cuba; and even country and western, which was brought by the American employees of the United Fruit Company.”

Also, don’t freak out, but Rainn’s philosophy sounds like a cult. He and his family subscribe to a smallish religion that started in 1844 called the Bahá’í Faith.

A Spiritual Fellow

Don’t make fun of him! I’m sure being born into a non-major faith has caused him enough trouble, lol.

Anyway, the Baha’i faith sounds like a gentle and tolerant canon. Rainn is one step ahead of those of us who have grown up asking ourselves what is my philosophy of life? The Baha’i call Love the defining power in the universe and don’t go door-to-door unless completely shorted out on toilet paper.

Some of the big answers offered by Baha’i thinking include:

  1. We are not alone in the universe.
  2. You can be friends with Others.
  3. Good means living according to Love.
  4. God exists, and he is chill about the name you call him.

How did Dwight Schrute Help Me Figure Out What is My Philosophy of Life?

With his public-facing spirituality, Rainn’s nonchalant championship of faith makes it a little easier for non-atheist, non-Christian, non-Jewish folks like myself to “come out of the closet” as spiritual people.

That is particularly important for us Gen Zs, since we have little precedent for spirituality in our generation. It’s good to see somebody smart and relatable talk about spirituality on YouTube without sounding like he is pushing some ancient, outdated agenda.

The benefits of spirituality include physical ones such as longevity, less hypertension, and decreased depression.

An explanation for why Dwight freaking Schrute might actually make an impact on how our generation sees spirituality is social proofing.

Social proofing is a concept in psychology that says people will follow the masses. In other words, people see an action as easier and safer if they see others doing it.

Rainn provides precedent for spirituality as somebody who is fun, interesting, smart, and (apparently) satisfied with his life while believing in something beyond science.

Some folks care more about social proofing than others, but it’s hardwired into all of us.

“My dad swears that there were real, actual ghosts in that rickety old house. Every night he would hear this mysterious screeeeee sound, like something scraping the floor, and every morning he would come downstairs to find that the furniture was arranged a bit different. ”

Personally, he makes me more open to believing in the unexplainable, ghosts, for example. I don’t care if science doesn’t partake in a good haunting.

Conclusion – Do You Ever Wonder, “What is My Philosophy?”

To start with, the scientific method is as much of a philosophy as Christianity, so whether you live your life based on faith or science, you are still following a philosophy.

Wilson’s personal tao (or path) hinges on having fun, being open-minded, and expressing your individuality, even if it comes at the cost of being made fun of or missing out on being “normal”.

If you want to know the inner workings of the mind behind Dwight Schrute, you can find his second book The Bassoon King on Amazon.

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What is Dopamine? The Motivation Molecule

Vaughn Bell once called dopamine the Kim Kardashian of molecules. It’s popular, sexy (?), and it just pops up where you least expect it.

Dopamine is often called the pleasure molecule, but that is the wrong way to understand America’s favorite neurotransmitter. In fact, dopamine is more like the desire molecule. You could even call it the motivation molecule.

This article is about a misunderstood molecule that secretly determines almost everything you do. Read on to find out more about:

  • What Dopamine is Used For
  • How to Have More Motivation
  • What Jordan Peterson Says About the Relationship Between Responsibility and Meaning

Oxytocin, not Dopamine, is the most aptly called “pleasure molecule”

What is Dopamine Used For

In 2009, scientists published a study that showed an extreme difference in motivation between rats with and without dopamine.

The conclusion of the experiment is that the dopamine-ful rats would develop cravings so strong that they would keep pressing the lever that signaled food until they literally dropped from exhaustion. Meanwhile, the dopamine-less rats would not get out of their little rat bed even for food or water.

The rats that had dopamine blocked were still capable of feeling pleasure if food was put in their mouths, they just lacked all will to live.

How does this apply to me? It applies to you, friend, because you live in the most dopamine-drenched time in human history.

Social media, junk food, and masturbation are all dopamine-intensive activities.

This is a problem because our bodies quickly develop a tolerance for dopamine, like with alcohol. Our body’s homeostasis automatically defends us from over-motivating. The problem is that this doesn’t stop at junk food.

If your dopamine pathways are overstimulated for too long, your motivation plane is destined to plummet and crash land in depression valley.

So what causes your brain to produce dopamine? The simple answer is anything where you anticipate a reward.

How to Summon Motivation

photo by @LievanoFreeman

Meaning automatically leads to motivation

Verse Lozano

Have you noticed how there are weirdos out there who don’t seem to dread going to the gym? Some people have so much motivation that they somehow don’t mind coming home from their 9-5 to stay up until the wee hours working on their side-projects.

Highly productive people have made friends with their dopamine glands. Sometimes, without even knowing what dopamine is or what it’s used for.

One surefire way you can infuse your life with chemical motivation is by discovering what brings you meaning. Meaning is a sustainable source of the reward feeling that is triggered by dopamine.

For many people meaning is the pursuit and/or maintenance of artistic ability, love, responsibility, or family. Let me know in the comments what other things I haven’t thought of that can bring us meaning.

How to Get Respect and Motivation at the Same Time

Jordan Peterson likes to talk about the relationship between responsibility and meaning. If you begin to accept responsibility over things in your life, you will generate meaning and therefore, align your dopamine homeostasis with things you actually care about and are good for you.

Meaning aligns your dopamine levels with healthy activities

If you embrace responsibility over something, this relationship becomes a tool you can use to boost yourself into a meaning-rich lifestyle. It doesn’t matter if your responsibility is over a child, a dog, or a manager position at the Barbie doll factory.

Before we talk about positives such as respect and meaning though, let’s just try to imagine the life of a very frustrated person who suffers without meaning and enjoys very little respect in his/her life for some one reason or another. The reasons don’t matter. What matters is that this person would obviously be better adjusted with respect and esteem. Likely, the person knows this.

Practical Applications

Philosophy without an application is pointless. So we have included two ways you can actually re-structure your dopamine balance.

These tips will help your body begin to crave productivity.

Get a Simple Elephant Agenda:

This particular agenda is better than others because it leverages positive psychology to propel you toward your long-term goals. It comes with a generous amount of blank pages in the back that let you express yourself creatively, loosely, and spontaneously; it includes a vision board and mind map in the front that keep you aimed toward your goal; and it includes random appearances of an elephant icon throughout the regular entry pages—when you see this icon, you are supposed to go back to the mind map and vision board in the beginning and reflect on your progress.

Learn What is Meaningful to You:

Meaning aligns your dopamine levels with healthy activities. Psychologists talk about the relationship between responsibility and meaning.

If you begin to accept responsibility over things in your life, you will generate meaning.

If you embrace responsibility over something, this relationship becomes a tool you can use to boost yourself into a meaning-rich lifestyle. It doesn’t matter if your responsibility is over a child, a dog, a company, or a job as a busboy.

Jordan Peterson’s Advice

Peterson uses the relationship between responsibility and meaning as a recurring theme in his bestselling book Twelve Rules for Life. He believes it is a valuable relationship to explore because it is so dang underrated.

Twelve Rules for Life offers psychology’s solutions to the mental health problems of modern society.

Peterson’s twelve rules are:

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
  2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
  3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
  4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
  5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
  6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
  7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
  8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie
  9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t
  10. Be precise in your speech
  11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
  12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

Conclusion

Dopamine is a misunderstood molecule. Its use is not pleasure, but chemical motivation. Learning to recognize when your brain is launching a dopamine campaign on your affect can be a useful tool in your personal development arsenal.

If you want to learn more about psychology in an artistic way, check out our debut book on Amazon. Our books are made to feel like the paperback form of an educational YouTube channel.

Critique of Self-Help Writers in Poem Form

This poem is about the (necessary?) narcissism of self-help authors

Cringey arrogance:
Our curse,
us self-help writers.
We get a special kind of hell.


It is a boisterous pit,
like the tower of Babel,
but obviously inverted.

It’s below-ground,
this metaphor ☝🙄

In self-help hell
no one listens to each other.


No one can even speak, really
over all the tongues
flipping and fluttering.

But I believe in cures and redemption.
I Iove human change.

Plus I’m arrogant too.

Behold Juan’s two cents 🌟🤏
check out my poultice of words.
River meet rudder:

You are not much
pero también eres alguito.

How Does the Puppet Let the Puppeteer Know He Is Alive?

By accepting that the puppeteer is a person too and then using the word “gaslighting” very liberally in his day-to-day.

Does somebody else control how you feel and act? Around this person, you are not yourself. You feel mentally weak compared to this person and you wind up doing what they want more often than not. Do you know what it feels like to be hopelessly manipulated?

This is an article that seeks to capture and describe a vision of manipulation and control called The Puppeteer Archetype.

Sharie Stines, a California-based therapist, says that a manipulative person might twist what you say and make it about them, hijack the conversation or make you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you’re not quite sure you have.

Please, reader, just read the disclaimers before making any judgements about the person who manipulates you.

  1. Puppeteers are people. People are complex. There is more to a person who embodies the Puppeteer than just that one archetype. In other words, they can evolve.
  2. The Puppeteer archetype is just one of many. Not only do many manipulative individuals fall outside of the vision that this article will try to illustrate for you, but those who reside within this vision do not often do so permanently. In other words, take this article with a grain of salt. It will not apply perfectly.
  3. The Puppeteer archetype seems like a natural manifestation of the nature of some people. Historically, puppeteers are born from self-defense and a form of entertaining themselves. In other words, manipulation is nothing but a game they are good at and you are not.

You Need to Know How to Get Respect

After all, most puppets are deader than a doorknob. Unfortunately, this applies to you too if you are a person who is being manipulated. You have to prove that you are alive.

This is a question of limitations, control, and probably most importantly, it is a question of respect. You have to respect yourself before anybody else will respect you. So how do you do that?

  • Address micro rejections
  • Use the truth as your shield
  • Whatever you do, don’t take it personally
  • Use the word “gaslighting liberally

1. Dealing with Micro Rejections

Did you know that the pain from social exclusion activates some of the same pathways activated by physical pain?

It’s exactly what it sound like. Micro rejections are a habit. They are a common habit. In a relationship, they can lead to abysmal feedback loops that leave love shredded.

Visually, micro-rejections are often talked about in psychology as a tech replacing human interaction phenomenon. Visualize the girlfriend who automatically checks her phone while you are talking with her. It can also be any kind of automatic shutdown that is not thought through.

These are easy to brush off individually, but if you are have a problematic relationship with somebody who doesn’t respect you, you need to be aware that these micro-rejections exist and they DO mean something.

2. Why is Telling the Truth Important

The truth is a powerful Spartan shield that you can do all kinds of cool moves with.

For starters, it keeps you and your values straight. If you are truthful with yourself and others, you will always be able to defend a past position. Admit it to yourself when you’re wrong!

If you are truthful with others, but not with yourself, you have built yourself an unwieldy lead shield that will do nothing but drag you into the mud. If you have a manipulative person in your life and you need him/her to respect you, you will need to be nimble and solid.

Telling the truth brings you

  • Peace of mind
  • Bigger man-ness
  • Growth for you and those around you

3. Don’t Take it Personally

Oh yeah. You need to get over yourself too. Manipulative people suck, yes, but I’m sure you have problems and peccadilloes too.

Mickey Singer, author of The Untethered Mind, puts a great deal of faith in the value of not being offended. If you expand this idea, you can apply it so sooo many things.

Things we are daily offended by:

  • Poor manners
  • Loud personalities
  • Slow computers

It’s easy to forget that a whole multiverse exists out there and our problems are a 0.000000001% of it.

4. Learn and Use the Term “Gaslighting”

Words matter guys. This particular word means: “when somebody else tries to make you out to be somebody whose thoughts have no value because you are crazy.”

It’s a very common strategy among the puppeteers of the world. You have to be careful not to use the word so so often that it loses its potency, but it will serve you well as the basis for your honest, unoffended confrontations about how he/she is micro-rejecting you and playing silly games with your heart.

Conclusion

Honestly, guys, respect is a very easy thing to get if you are brave and honest with yourself. You need a word-tool or two to leverage your ballsiness, sure, but why not give “gaslighting” a try? You might just reverse the puppeteer-puppet dynamic you have going on in your life.

Who are you, puppet, or puppeteer? Personally I’m actually more of a puppeteer 🤷‍♂️